Michaela

She stirs quietly

As my body rests

Ready to attack

One blow, one kill

One silent swift movement

The smell of anger

While life stands still

Enriches the world gently

As her presence awakens

She is alive once more.

Coming out to play

Preying on the weak

Rejoycing the once living

She haunts her embodied soul

The one that shells her

The one world collapses

Spiritual stronger than physical

Flames burn screams echo

A world of non-existence

Internal suffering commences

I’m no longer alive

She has risen

Powerful and manipulative

Silent with deadly aim

I am Michaela

Alive I choose to stay - by my love Troy

all my life filled with sorrow
no hope of seeing tomorrow
living inside my protective shell
each day reliving my personal hell


i would dream of death
felt i had nothing left
lost the will to go on
would anyone know I'd gone


these thoughts through my head
the reason I'm yet to be dead
pain felt from those who died
the pain from their suicide


never wanted someone to feel
the same pain i had to feel
alive i choose to stay
till times up one day

To the one that I love

To the one that I love,

You are so strong willed, smart, funny, protective, caring and lovable. You make me smile each day, when I am down or just not in the mood, you find a way to make my life so much better.  You are so good to me, and I try my hardest to give you the same or more. I have given my heart to you to keep for eternity. You have me to hold and no one else. Through everything we may encounter I know we are strong. As one no one can touch us. I want us to last more than a lifetime. I want to tell you exactly what I want. Yet I don’t want to come across as needy or pushy or stubborn. Its just a dream…something in a way what I always wanted. It may seem that some of it is repetitive, but I am telling you what has been on my mind.

When we get married, I want to have a place of our own. Nothing too big or too small. Just I would like to in a sense have kind of like a country home. Big backyard, pool, farm house…a couple dogs. Maybe a couple other animals. Like a horse or two. Not saying I want a farm, but like that type of setting. I want it near a coast, so I can go to the beach and have a bonfire or cookout or something. I want it not in a city, but not full on country. Kind of a mix of both. I don’t want to be too far from family, but not right next door. I want to be able to go to concerts in the city or musicals. I miss doing that. Yet go home and have quiet time with you and the family.  I want to raise our family in a decent, secure and safe environment.

I don’t know I guess it has always been one of my dreams to have it like that. Kind of like a dream house type of thing. Just I want to be happy like that. Anyways, I just wanted you to know, since I know I am to be your wife soon enough. Time will tell of course. I just want you to know I love you and will be happy leading up to, during and after the time comes you do get on one knee…no matter what the answer will be yes. I am yours to keep and I have promised my heart to you as well.

The Man Of the World

I know this may sound weird...and I know I havent typed in a while, but I think I have found my soul mate. He is 26, 6 years older than myself, but to me that is just a number. He does everything amazingly to make me happy, and I am not used to that. I mean....I have had a rough past relationship wise, friend wise, family wise ect. but he just makes every thing seem so right. I love him...I know crazy sounding, but I do. I mean...I have known him for about 2 years now and have become best friends. I know I can tell him everything and even when I cant find the right words, he knows what I am saying or thinking. Everything to me is in the eyes. And in his eyes I can tell that he is the one I will be with. He cares, protects, loves and makes me laugh. I mean I am going to admit, I am a stubborn bitch at times, but even when he gets angry or anything of that nature, he comes back and says it didnt matter as long as I am okay. He loves me too much to let anything happen to me. He buys me stuff...and I am deff not used to that. I am used to buying everything. Yet...I guess its a sense of wanting to payback him for everything. He doesnt care, as long as I am happy and smile. I love him, I truly do. He is my man of my world, my universe and my soul. He will be the future husband of my elder self, father of my children, grandfather of theirs and so on. I love him. I would do anything for him and I know he will do the same. So I just want to say this now...Troy Allynn....you are mine for eternity and nothing/no one can take that from us. I love you.

Dark Phoenix

Sitting in a dark room
Only light I see comes from me
No flashlight on hand
Just the spirit from within

Cold sweat races down
Sounds of galloping horses
Fill my ears and chest
A shiver goes down my spine

The sound of footsteps
From the deep darkness
Whispers and screaming
Pierce the still night

I dont make a move
Any move is deadly
One strike and I'm done
One strike, she's alive

She awakens with no warning
A fire of light and fury
To protect her human form
The shell that she has been kept captive

For so many years
Has fought to be released
Now it is time for her
To show her true form

Only thing she fears
Can she stop her rage
Before the ones she loves
Get destoyed in the process

One man stands alone
In the way of the fire
One man who would die
Just to protect her

He says he will fight
To keep her safe from anything
The only question is...
Can he save the one he loves,
From herself?

Give You My All

I will fight until I am weak
The day that I fall
Will be when I am safe
Inside of your arms
Nothing can touch me
When I am in your arms
When there is a presence
I know you are behind me
Overshadowing evil beings
Ready to defend me
Like a Rottweiler on guard
I know I am safe
If you are there
I know you will never let me fall
That you will hold me up
Through everything and everyone
You will fight to keep me breathing
As I will do for you
Even in a weakened stat
I will fight til the last bow
My love is everlasting for you
Nothing or no one will change that
I will fall when I am safe
Until that day I will protect
And reach a new extent everyday
I am yours to hold and keep
Protect me and I shall do the same
Become one and give life

To a future blessing created
By two protective and loving
Guardians who shall teach
The lessons of their years past
To the one thing that will become
The most important thing in their
Lives apart from love
To the blessing created
Be strong and willful
As well as loving an protective
Just like your guardians
Before you…years before
Find your one like I have found
And keep the legacy alive

Life Goes By

I just want time
To be with you
Alone and protected
Happy and warm

To fall asleep
Like a baby
In your arms
Silent and still

I fel alive
Breathing with hope
That I will see
Every sunrise and sunset

Next to you
Gazing at stars
Guessing constellations
While catching fireflies

Out of breath
Kissing and whispers
The epitome of love
So young and new

The world turns
Years pass by
Aged skin wrinkles
Warmth turns cold

Life passes by quick
Enjoy youth while it lasts