Monday, April 23, 2012

Michaela

She stirs quietly
As my body rests
Ready to attack
One blow, one kill
One silent swift movement

The smell of anger
While life stands still
Enriches the world gently
As her presence awakens
She is alive once more.

Coming out to play
Preying on the weak
Rejoycing the once living
She haunts her embodied soul
The one that shells her

The one world collapses
Spiritual stronger than physical
Flames burn screams echo
A world of non-existence
Internal suffering commences

I’m no longer alive
She has risen
Powerful and manipulative
Silent with deadly aim
I am Michaela

Alive I choose to stay - by my love Troy

all my life filled with sorrow
no hope of seeing tomorrow
living inside my protective shell
each day reliving my personal hell


i would dream of death
felt i had nothing left
lost the will to go on
would anyone know I'd gone


these thoughts through my head
the reason I'm yet to be dead
pain felt from those who died
the pain from their suicide


never wanted someone to feel
the same pain i had to feel
alive i choose to stay
till times up one day

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

To the one that I love


To the one that I love,

You are so strong willed, smart, funny, protective, caring and lovable. You make me smile each day, when I am down or just not in the mood, you find a way to make my life so much better.  You are so good to me, and I try my hardest to give you the same or more. I have given my heart to you to keep for eternity. You have me to hold and no one else. Through everything we may encounter I know we are strong. As one no one can touch us. I want us to last more than a lifetime. I want to tell you exactly what I want. Yet I don’t want to come across as needy or pushy or stubborn. Its just a dream…something in a way what I always wanted. It may seem that some of it is repetitive, but I am telling you what has been on my mind.

When we get married, I want to have a place of our own. Nothing too big or too small. Just I would like to in a sense have kind of like a country home. Big backyard, pool, farm house…a couple dogs. Maybe a couple other animals. Like a horse or two. Not saying I want a farm, but like that type of setting. I want it near a coast, so I can go to the beach and have a bonfire or cookout or something. I want it not in a city, but not full on country. Kind of a mix of both. I don’t want to be too far from family, but not right next door. I want to be able to go to concerts in the city or musicals. I miss doing that. Yet go home and have quiet time with you and the family.  I want to raise our family in a decent, secure and safe environment.

I don’t know I guess it has always been one of my dreams to have it like that. Kind of like a dream house type of thing. Just I want to be happy like that. Anyways, I just wanted you to know, since I know I am to be your wife soon enough. Time will tell of course. I just want you to know I love you and will be happy leading up to, during and after the time comes you do get on one knee…no matter what the answer will be yes. I am yours to keep and I have promised my heart to you as well.